Marriage Counseling

How does Marriage Counseling Work?

Marriage counseling is also called couple therapy, relationship therapy, or marital therapy. In this form of treatment, both partners usually meet together with the therapist. Marriage counseling can help committed couples (married or not) to communicate more effectively, understand one another's feelings and perceptions, find resolution to difficult conflicts without verbal or physical violence, and live more happily together.

In marriage counseling, the therapist makes every effort not to take sides, but rather to help the couple understand one another better. Marriage counseling can help each individual learn what the other person may be willing to change, and what they may need to accept. The couple may learn how to negotiate difficult issues, how to compromise, and how to understand a problem from another point of view.

Marriage counseling is not always able to save a marriage. Sometimes, it becomes a way to end a relationship with as little pain and as much self-respect as possible. (If one or both of you is thinking of divorce, see the section Couples on the Brink).

How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost?

My usual rate for a single, 60 minute first session for a couple is $175. Subsequent sessions last 45-50 minutes and my rate is $150. The cost for the first, 2-hour Discernment Counseling session is $350. Subsequent Discernment Counseling sessions are 90 minutes and cost $265.00. I do not accept health insurance for couple counseling nor for Discernment Counseling. In order to bill insurance I would have to be diagnosing and treating one of you for a mental health diagnosis. Instead I see myself as a coach for your relationship, teaching intimacy skills and so on. So I have decided to stay away from this "medical model" when working with couples. Please feel free to reach out for more information about cost. For information about fees, please reach out on my contact page.

How Do You Know if You Need Marriage Counseling?

Many people wait until a relationship has serious problems, such as extramarital affairs or violence, or even until they are on the brink of divorce, before they try marriage counseling. Although counseling can still be of help, we strongly suggest that you consider marriage counseling before you reach this stage! When arguments seem to go nowhere, when feelings are frequently being hurt, or when the distance between you just seems to be growing, it may be time to try marriage counseling.

What About Sexual Problems?

The most common sexual problems include loss of sexual desire, and difficulty with arousal or erections. I am certified as a sex therapist by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). If your relationship encounters sexual difficulties, I have the training and experience to offer suggestions that may be of help.

What Marriage Counseling is NOT

Marriage counseling is not the same as mediation, arbitration, or legal advice. Marriage counseling is not a way to "fix" your partner without having to change your own behavior at all. Marriage counseling is not a guarantee that your marriage will get back on track.

What if my Spouse or Partner Refuses to Get Help?

It is certainly easier to revive a struggling relationship when both partners are present. But if your partner is reluctant, I can meet with you alone and may still be able to be of help. I may be able to suggest ways to encourage your partner to join you in treatment. Or, you may be able to learn how to change your own behavior in such a way that your partner changes too.